Debs Taylor HayhurstAfter the tragic and traumatic events of last Friday imprinted images are embedded in all our minds. We all left reeling with waves of varying emotions within us, from anger, frustration, sadness, confusion and many more.

Like any senseless act which takes innocent lives, it makes us wonder what in the world are we coming to when we all live in the same ‘place’ and should be living in harmony and peace and not war and hatred.

Today, however, I wanted to focus more on how we manage dealing with ‘events’ that may affect us directly and indirectly, and how we might manage to work out how we process what has happened, move forward, working through our feelings, thoughts and memories of that day.

We are a social animal, and as such need interaction with others, particularly in the aftermath of something that affects all of us in many ways.

Those friendships we strike up with others either because of an event or because we feel the same as someone who is similarly affected enables us to relate to them and provide that mutual support that we all yearn for.

Often at times such as these we can’t make sense of how we feel, thus making it hard to either ask for help and support, because we don’t know how someone can help us. Often, we just want the pain or bad feeling to go away.

How can we maximise mutual support from others at these times?

  • Share your feelings with others, either in a group or on a one-on-one basis; often we find that they feel the same way, helping us to feel less alone in the way we feel

  • Sharing our emotions whether anger, sadness or frustration enables to get those feelings off our chest

  • Processing any traumatic event takes time and affects all of us in different ways; talking about how we feel helps us normalise our feelings, we are never alone in feeling the way we do, even although we feel we might be

  • Making sense of senseless acts such as these is almost impossible, however, we must live in hope that some good will come from them; that the opposite of what was the reason behind such an event i.e. love wins over hate

At the end of the day it’s our relationships that get us through things like this, and we must draw strength from each other, support each other, look out for each other and look out for those signs of someone struggling and reach out to support them in whichever way we feel we can.