Karen Degen“Why am I still single?” is a question I am often asked by clients seeking help to find the person of their dreams. Or, even more commonly, “why do I keep having (insert problem) in my relationship?”. For instance “Why do I keep getting rejected?”, or “why do I keep getting cheated on?”.

When people come to me asking for help to find the person of their dreams I need to do two things. Firstly, find exactly what is blocking them and secondly, clear that block (with EFT). Before we look at what can be blocking us we need to briefly mention the Law of Attraction. No, I’m not talking about romantic attraction, but the attraction of energy to energy (quantum physics). Your emotions are energy and so are your thoughts. Your beliefs are energy and so are your expectations. The Law of Attraction, which is a universal law (like the law of gravity) shows that we attract to ourselves that which matches our energy, or vibration. Most people think that if they focus on what they want in a partner they will attract it, but here’s the problem. You are thinking about what you want with your conscious mind and at the same time your subconscious mind has beliefs, expectations or emotions that are preventing that from coming into your reality. We call these ‘blocks’ and here are the three most common (but my no means only) blocks.

You don’t love and accept yourself as you are

You want to find a partner who loves you as you are, who thinks you are wonderful and who treats you wonderfully – right? If its not happening there’s a good chance that YOU aren’t loving yourself as you are. That you aren’t treating yourself wonderfully with your thoughts. You can’t attract that which isn’t a match to your own vibration. Or sometimes we can attract it briefly but we can’t keep it. To find someone to love us we have to love ourselves! Not “I will know I’m lovable when someone loves me”. NO. The loving of yourself has to come first, before the other person will arrive into your reality.

You don’t feel worthy, or don’t feel deserving

Beliefs that often come in partnership with not loving ourselves are those of not feeling worthy or deserving. Not just of love, but of happiness, or good things, or a great life. How can you attract a partner who will make you happy if you don’t deserve happiness? How can you attract someone who loves you if you aren’t deserving of love? They are two completely different vibrations. Remember you attract to you that which matches your vibration, so if you aren’t attracting what you (consciously) want you must be putting our something different subconsciously.

You have limiting beliefs about what is possible

Have you ever found yourself saying “there are no good guys/girls left”? Or “All men/women cheat”? Or “I’m never lucky in love”? Or “I always seem to attract the bad ones”? What you think and what you say reflect subconscious beliefs. Remember that we attract to us that which matches our vibration, so how can you attract a great partner if you don’t believe you will?

Most of my clients have a lot of trouble with loving and accepting themselves. So I help them to do that. A lot of my clients don’t feel worthy or deserving, so I help them with that. Nearly everyone has limiting beliefs that they don’t even realise they have, because they are subconscious. I help them to identify and clear them. If you are seeking a fulfilling, satisfying and lasting relationship contact me for some help.