Several times a year a man walks over the threshold of my office and says something close to:\r\n\u201cI heard you were the chick at the beach that I needed to see\u201d.\r\nSounds ominous doesn\u2019t it? (Being politically correct has no business in my business.)\r\nI respect the fact that for a man to phone me and book at appointment takes more courage than most people realise. Making that first phone call, is monumental for him. I also know, whatever they are calling about, is serious and no trivial matter.\r\nThey come in and sit on the sofa. Their eyes are darting all over the place and they often look as if they are about to run.\r\n\u201cSo how\u2019s this all work?\u201d Would be the next thing I hear.\r\nAnd so we begin....\r\nThey say men don\u2019t talk much. And many do not. But they communicate all the time and they do it a lot better than they realise. Their body language tells me volumes about the emotions they are experiencing, or trying to hold on to.\r\nWe do all the formalities of paperwork and then just chat, check out the territory together.\r\nThey sometimes get up and stroll about my office, checking the curious books on the shelves, playing with trinkets around the place, look out the window into the garden. Some comment on the stream that runs through the property, the farmland on the other side and how peaceful it is hearing the waves from the beach.\r\nBefore too long, they slip off their jacket, grab a chocolate and sit back.\r\nI hear things they may have never uttered out aloud before. The struggles, the having to be stoic, having to be strong when they feel like their are falling apart, scared of being vulnerable as they may appear weak, feeling lonely, uncertain, scared, lost, unsure, fed-up, unaccepted, unloved and close to the edge.\r\nThey get to finally open up and brain dump the thoughts endlessly circling their heads and we slowly place them all in order. The relief of being heard is enormous. I see it.\r\nThere are often tears, anger, frustration and then gradual reflection, laughter and, eventually, release.\r\nWe start to explore solutions that ease the tension in their brains, and their body. Shoulders drop, they start to breathe, and eventually their head comes back up and a smile of hope spreads across their face.\r\nThey know that they can get a grip of what\u2019s happening to them. That there are ways to tackle what they felt was impossible. We untangle all those knots one by one, until we start to see clear steps on how to move forward.\r\nWe keep it simple. I\u2019ve never seen the point of making it overly complicated and analytical. We don\u2019t go digging up the past and relive it. We even work content free when required, and still establish workable solutions. We find a way to let it go and move forward.\r\nWhen he leaves, he\u2019s taller, a little more confident and self assured. We\u2019ve built trust and we have started to clear the way forward. He has some strategies under his belt to be more resourceful and more empowered.\r\nSo when I hear a man say, \u201cI heard you were the chick at the beach that I needed to see\u201d. I know that men talk (how else would he have heard of me?).\r\nWith a smile, I reply:\r\n\u201cWell, if you are calling me a chick at my age, you can most certainly come in.\u201d\r\nAnd I\u2019m honoured that they do and we work it out.